


It Hits You

by Farewell2arms



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/F, How it could've happened, JR perspective, Jetra tho, sorry the petramos is former
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 11:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25968553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farewell2arms/pseuds/Farewell2arms
Summary: In which JR takes the job in Miami but still breaks up with Petra, then proceeds to run into Jane and Petra at certain defined intervals.
Relationships: Jane Ramos/Petra Solano, Petra Solano/Jane Villanueva
Comments: 1
Kudos: 53





	It Hits You

**Author's Note:**

> So, I just watched Jane the Virgin for the first time (so late to the party), and felt sad that Jane and Petra didn't end up together (but also loved JR and Petra). Anyway, I haven't written fanfic since FABERRY in like 2012 but felt the need to process the end of this show and started writing. Hope you enjoy! This is written from the perspective of JR.

Or, four times JR knew something about Jane and Petra.

No matter what you didn’t know about Petra, you always knew, and believed, that she loved you.

Making the choice to walk away from her, now, had been the hardest of your life, because you know and believe that the two of you could’ve been so happy. And you had really loved her, still do, but God, that love has nearly destroyed you. You mean what you say about needing a clean break, a fresh start. You’ll always be grateful to her for getting you this job, even if the whole thing had felt, well… icky, until you started. And you’ll always be glad to know that you’re the kind of person who can feel these things for others, really. Even if it had ended, you knew it was going to be one of your once in a lifetime loves. But, at the end of the day, there was just so much baggage - lies neither one of you could ever really get past, and better to end it now and break both of your hearts sooner rather than later.

But God, you still care. And you know she is the type of person who might not let anyone into her pain. It had taken her so long to even let you in, and you believed her when she said she never felt about anyone the way she felt about you. So you are surprised when, right as you had left the restaurant, you saw her, tears streaming down her face driving in front of you, and instead of the right turn she needed to make to go toward her or Rafael’s place, she kept going straight. You had a feeling she might not go straight home, but you figured if she went anywhere, it’d be to Rafael’s place. You had rolled your eyes when she had said they were “kind of bros” now, but you know she trusted only a handful of people, and for better or worse, her ex-husband was her family. You can’t tell if she can see you, and you have no idea where she would be headed in this part of town, so you decide against your better judgement to just, follow her through the light and see what happens. You grow even more confused when the European grocery store she went to for her comfort pickles comes up and she drives right past it. 

Wracking your brain, it suddenly dawns on you as the stores and strip malls you had been passing gradually shift into a more residential area: this was JV’s neighborhood. Of course it was. Taking a shortcut, you park about 20 feet from JV’s house and kill the engine and your headlights - you feel creepy enough already without drawing attention to yourself. She drives right up in front of the house and parks. The sight of Petra, beautiful as ever, breaking down and looking at the front door of JV’s house makes you feel a lot of things - angry at yourself for not trying harder to move past the baggage, and something else, something protective, something jealous that you know you have to let go.

Petra looks back and forth from her lap to the front door and you know her well enough to know that she is debating going in. From your car, you can see a light on in what you assume to be JV’s room and, much to your chagrin, you can vaguely make out Jane sitting on her bed with her laptop on her lap. 

It makes you wonder if some sick twist of fate is taking you out of the picture to bring these two closer, but Petra had been adamant that Jane wasn’t interested in her, or women, like that. You had been at the bar the night they danced together, though, and as much as JV was trying to make a joke about it, you couldn’t help but see the glint in her eye as she laughed with your girlfriend. They had been through so much together, or rather, had put each other through so much… at the time you told yourself it was just… really good… that Petra had made Jane a friend. 

Whatever her internal monologue, your ex-girlfriend gets out of the car and stumbles her way to JV’s front door. She’s beautiful, but you’ve never seen her look worse, and you’ve seen her after her ex husband attempted to murder or, as he insisted, seriously harm, her. Petra knocks, but no one answers. The front door is unlocked, and Petra looks for a moment like she might turn around and run back to her car after realizing this, but JV’s grandmother, Alba, opens the door just then. 

Of all the Villanueva women, Petra speaks with an unusual sort of… reverence? about Alba. Actually, it had been one of the things that made you fall in love with her now that you remember. She spoke of how she had tried to make things right with Alba for a while, really breaking through one brunch when she had persistently shown up at Jane’s house and forced Jane to talk about what was bothering her/if she was mad at Petra. 

Petra spoke fondly of a memory in which, as they were cleaning up, she and Alba had talked about coming to America for the first time, and swapped recipes from Venezuela and the Czech Republic. This, Petra had said, was her first time really apologizing to someone for her past actions - and she had promised Alba after that brunch that the games with Jane were officially over, that Petra was going to do all she could to be Jane’s friend from then on out. Petra had worked really hard to keep that promise - perhaps the deepest sign she had changed.

You’re shaken from these thoughts when you see Alba grab Petra’s face and wipe at her tears. You see a sob wrack Petra’s frame. You two had done a damn number on each other. Alba ushered Petra into the small house. Not even five seconds later, you see the shadows shift through JV’s window. Then you see Petra cross the room and crawl into JV’s bed and her arms. 

You can vaguely make out that Petra is digging in her pocket and a sick, ice cold feeling runs through your whole body when you see a ring box pulled out of it. You can tell JV, never exactly sensitive enough to anyone else’s mood, slipped the ring on her hand and yeah, you’re driving away before you see anything else. There’s something about seeing your ring on her finger that broke you beyond how you broke yourself at that restaurant. You feel more like a bloody fool than you ever have before, and likely than you ever will again. 

You get home, rip off your clothes and jump in the shower. The tears don’t stop flowing after that, and you don’t know how long you just stand there and sob. The water runs cold by the time you get out, and you crawl into bed without really even drying off. You’re going to have to work really hard to make sure this doesn’t turn out to be the biggest mistake of your life. As much as you hate to admit it, it hits you that you know that tonight, she’s in good hands and you’re going to go to pieces… alone.

*****************************************************************************************************  
Your new job had been going pretty well. After the first couple of weeks, no one is asking you anymore how you know Ms. Solano, and the work really is important. You never knew you’d be interested in policy work since you mostly worked as a criminal defense attorney when you were a lawyer, but the people you meet are all good people, and the work you’re doing to change the narrative on immigration in Florida is really important. 

You hear Ms. Solano has resigned from the board one day in the break room. You ignore that this news feels like a knife to your gut. This breakup feels more final than your other one - she’s respecting the boundaries you’ve set in place. This news makes you wonder if these boundaries were foolish. 

You’re walking back from lunch one day when you hear a voice that you’d recognize anywhere.

“Woman go easy on him!”

You realize you feel like an avalanche just fell over you, and you dive into some bushes.  
You swear to yourself you don’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation, but you can’t help it. They speak to each other with more familiarity than you remember. You realize you don’t remember Petra ever talking with Jane like she and Jane were equals. Something about this conversation feels more balanced, like they both care to actually listen to what the other is saying without talking right past each other.

As you listen, it’s like your brain, which has worked very hard to not let itself think about anything Petra related for the last three weeks, opens its own floodgates. Every memory, every time she looked at you with hope in her eyes, it’s crashing down on you as these branches are poking at you. Sometimes, you wondered if anyone else could see what you saw in Petra’s eyes - sometimes it felt like you were staring into the sun. sometimes, it felt like you were viewing the soul of someone with childlike wonder at her world - in spite of, or maybe because of, all that she had overcome. You know you still love her. You know you always will.

You hear a pause in their conversation and chance a glance upward. You hear JV say “You got this” as she places a hand between Petra’s shoulder blades. You hear in her voice a conviction you don’t remember hearing before - like she believes in Petra’s ability to do whatever it is they’re doing more than anything.   
Petra moves to walk away but JV grabs her, again, more intimately than you’d ever seen them touch. They walk into the building and as your eyes travel right, you see the sign for the jewelry store and oh - there’s the ice in your veins again.

It hits you that they know they are equals now. 

Your stomach twists, and you lose your lunch there in the bush. 

*************************************************************************************************************

After work that next Thursday night, you go out with friends and get very, very drunk.   
You’re lost in a sea of has been and what if questions, and alcohol tends to dull those questions, at least temporarily. If she’s returning the ring she wanted to give you, that means she really is going to stay away this time - her hope for your future, hope you yourself had been trying to vanquish, is gone.   
Before… Peter… (you can’t say her name in your head anymore because you’ve gotten to that stage of grieving the breakup) you had been something of a player, and you’re hoping tonight’s the night that maybe you get a little company. Anything to take the edge off.

You’re also dangerously close to the Marbella, and had your friends take your phone away so you don’t do anything stupid. The proximity alone is enough to make you drink twice as much, though. You and your friends had shown up at the bar at 7, So at 11:30 when a girl - a cute, short brunette who is wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers - drags you out to the beach, you don’t think anything of it. You are beyond the most wasted you’ve ever been. The world is spinning while she whispers about this secluded little spot she knows. She takes you into a little lifeguard hut on the beach.

Her lips on yours feels pretty nice actually. You’re fading into it and it’s sloppy because of the alcohol, but company, company is nice. So you’re surprised when you’re conscious enough of your surroundings to hear voices approaching. You stop kissing this girl. Seriously, who is stupid enough to run the beach at damn near midnight? 

A chill runs through your body and you are grateful that your date seems to have drifted off into a quiet nap when you stopped kissing because you hear the unmistakable voice of JV. You don’t know if it’s the alcohol causing you to dream it or not, because seriously? What is she doing with Petra at midnight on a weeknight?

Jane and Petra were Saturday afternoon friends. After school until six PM friends. They weren’t jog on the beach at midnight on a weeknight friends. You remember, then, that Thursday night is the night where Rafael takes both Mateo and the twins - the only night of the week, if you recall. You remember Jane and Petra once making plans during this time, Petra returning and saying she didn’t necessarily want to make it a habit.

In hindsight, of course you were the only thing standing in their way - Petra and Jane had gone from brunch every Saturday to brunch plus lunch one day a week and a standing movie night every other week - but Petra was usually married to her sleep schedule regardless - so it still feels late and you still feel terrible.

It gives you a sense of satisfaction to hear that Petra is still heartbroken from your breakup. That she has never been heartbroken like this, and had believed you two were happily ever after. God, you had believed that too. You scoff when JV says she’s over “happily ever after”, your brief interactions with her had led you to believe she would always believe in magic almost as much as she believed in Petra. It hits you that you know they love each other. You really were an idiot to not see it sooner, and you wonder if they know it too. Petra probably still loves you more, but that’s only because you had given her permission to. It hits you that if JV ever gave her permission, Petra would love her more fiercely than she had ever loved anything.

You peak out the window of the little hut as they settle down to sit on the beach. They’re sitting closer together than they used to, but maybe that’s your vision through the alcohol. 

...Petra gives JV a pep talk. It dawns on you that before you, Petra believed in this Jane a lot more than she cared to admit. Now, without you in the way, she seems more supportive in this relationship than you’ve ever seen her be. Petra is more.. Gentle? than you’ve seen her be with anyone but you. She wants JV to move out of her grandma’s house. Deeper than that, she wants JV to believe that she can. JV returns the favor, and Petra was apparently going to bankrupt herself to get over JR? But as always, because of JV, Petra seems to have been talked down from the ledge. 

They sit in silence for a while, nudging each other with their shoulders and grinning like eighth graders occasionally. It’d be cute if it didn’t make your stomach churn. After a while, Petra looks over at JV.

“Hey, you could… move into Rafael’s old penthouse…. For a while if you wanted?” Petra sounded unsure of what she was offering, but delivered her line with enough conviction that you know JV would never question if she meant it.

Petra goes on “It’s just… you know - it’s been empty since Luisa kicked him out and it’s only a few minutes from his place, as well as Rogelio and Xo’s, and your grandmas?” You wouldn’t have to stay forever, but, if you needed a place while you searched for other places… I’m positive the twins would love to see Mateo around more often.”

Jane looks like Petra’s offer has shocked her as deeply as it shocked you. Her mouth hangs open, and she barely squeeks out “Petra… that’s… so, so generous…” a grin overtakes her entire face before she says “Are you sure you just don’t want to see me more often?”

Petra scoffs, but good naturedly takes Jane’s hand in her own. If you weren’t drunk out of your mind you’d swear you saw Jane swallow a lump of emotion. Petra says “Since we’re honest with each other now, yes… I wouldn’t mind seeing you… one or two more times a week, at most.”

A shiteating grin covers Jane’s entire face. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll… I’ll take you up on it! I’ll move in for a few months. Now let’s go back to your place. It’s getting cold out here.” 

Your heart breaks a little deeper when you notice they don’t let go of each other’s hands as they walk back to the Marbella, their home. 

*********************************************************************************************************

It’s been eleven months since you were last at the Marbella when your boss asks you to take a meeting there. You make sure it isn’t with Petra, and then decide to take it. The Marbella is one of the only resort style hotels that are currently sponsoring work Visas in Miami, and you really do just want to make sure they’re planning to continue to do so. You know Petra knows how important it is, and you had heard she was the full owner of the hotel, now. You don’t have doubts.

Your heart is in a better place. It’s not perfect, may never be perfect again. But you can think of Petra without ice running through your whole body. You can have a memory without breaking down. You know you’ll always love her, but you think now your love was always meant to be here, at a distance. You played the roles you needed to play for each other. She had done a great job of respecting your boundaries, and you haven’t had the unfortunate experience of running into her - or Jane for that matter - and having to hide for nine months and 27 days. 

You head to the Marbella for your meeting, but you’re early, so you sit in the lobby and read the newspaper. It makes you anxious. Not because you think you’ll go to pieces if you see her, but because you don’t know what you would say. It dawns on you that JV would have a monologue ready of “I hope you are happy.” phrases and paragraphs.

Speaking of JV, you see her across the lobby, not with her waitressing outfit on but with a sundress. She has cut her hair a bit shorter, reminiscent of Petra’s haircut at this time last year. She looks good - happier than those last few times you had seen her. She’s holding a book in her hand, and you realize you’ve been staring over the newspaper when she turns around and the biggest smile you’ve ever seen covers her face.

It feels like an intimate smile, like one you shouldn’t be privy to, and you wonder what it is that has made JV make this face. That’s when you hear the unmistakable cadence of Petra Solano’s heels hitting the tile. It hits you that the smile is intimate because you’re… watching JV smile at someone with whom she is intimate. And that person is your ex-girlfriend.  
It doesn’t sting like you thought it would. If anything, it feels like a culmination of the events of the last year and a half of your life - perhaps the culmination of the events of the last seven of Petra and Jane’s lives. 

It catches you off guard that Petra returns the smile, but more confidently than she ever smiled at you - like she knows for sure the person in front of her isn’t going to run away. You’re relieved to know Petra found somewhere safe to land. You used to think you’d eventually find a way to be stable ground for her. It never occurred to you before that she already had stable ground when you met - her stable ground was JV.

You use the fact that neither of them would expect to see you here to your advantage as you eavesdrop just a bit.

“You look great.” Petra says as she smiles down at JV. 

“So do you… are you ready?” Jane says as she wiggles her eyebrows.

“No. Are you?”

“No, but we need to tell them. It’s starting to get confusing. Raf said he was fine with it, abuela thinks it’s time… Raf is bringing them home right now.” 

“Speaking of home… I…. I hope I’m not being too forward, Jane, but…” Petra hesitates on her own sentence, and, as much as you wish you weren’t, you’re on the edge of your seat.

“Spit it out, goofball.” is Jane’s response.

“It’s just that, the last nine months have been some of the hardest... and happiest of my life. And I know you like having the space of the penthouse but we’ve been spending almost every night together and… I hate watching you leave early on those days when you need to sneak out before the girls wake up. I hate doing the same when you have Mateo. I think if today goes well… we should… we should... move in together. Now that I’ve… hired a manager and… the hotel is expanding… I don’t, I don’t have to be around all hours of the night and well… there’s a cute but elegant house down the street from Rafael’s place going on the market soon and I was just thinking that maybe I’d… buy it for us?”

You feel as speechless as Jane looks - you and Petra had talked of moving in but never had made it that far. You were similar in a way that kept both of you from jumping the gun - you both needed a little more space than the usual single family home allowed. You realize now that maybe Petra never needed as much space as you thought… she just needed time and her safe place to land.

So you’re genuinely happy for her, and only a little pang goes through your chest when Jane starts crying and simply says “Yes. I’ve always been a family with you, Petra Solano, when you liked it and when you didn’t. I can’t wait to spend every day waking up next to you.”

With that, the two kiss, briefly, and you smile knowing Petra didn’t always like displays of affection, especially not in her hotel. As they grab hands and leave to greet the kids and Rafael outside, you feel good knowing that Petra has found her happily ever after. Someday soon, you know that you’ll find yours.


End file.
